People commonly think of falling in love and, one way or another, suddenly falling out of love. Well, there is a certain feeling where we can feel an adrenaline rush every time we see each other, or stay with that person in the same room, or if we happen to talk to that person one on one or in a group. Some may falsely think that it is already LOVE. We tend to fall in love with or admire someone for certain personalities or characteristics, most often the physical “thing.” Then, as we get to know the person more, we get put off by some of their attitudes and eventually decide we don’t like them anymore. Can you imagine the time lapse? Very short.
True love is never like this. It is so different from the kind of love most of us have known our entire lives that it deserves both a name, Real Love, and a definition of its own. Real love is caring about someone else’s happiness without thinking about what we might get for ourselves. It is also Real Love when other people unconditionally care about our happiness. It is not Real Love when other people love us for doing what they want. We can be sure that we are receiving True Love only when we make silly mistakes, when we don’t do what other people want and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated with us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and only that love has the power to heal all wounds, bring people together, and create relationships far beyond our current ability to imagine.
It is love when we accept everything about the person, including the bad side. The attitude will no longer matter because hopes are high that the person will continue to change. All of his friends, even if we don’t have the same ideals or interests as them, will also become our friends. Everything that the person loves, we will learn to love too. We will really adapt to everything: the environment, your likes and dislikes, etc. And even if time passes, our love for the person never fades.
But, there are still some exceptions about love. There are several things that love really is not.
* Love is not an emotion. Although true love is often accompanied by strong feelings, love is not the same as floating on clouds. Unlike the kind of love portrayed in movies, TV, and songs, people in love don’t always feel very clingy when they’re together. A relationship would not last long on emotions. In fact, knowledge is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
* Love is not sex. That statement alone goes against much of what the entertainment industry feeds us. Every time two people hook up in pop culture, they have sex. Without showing some of the unpleasant realities of premarital and extramarital sex, it is designed to be a wonderful and fun recreational activity.
Sex is created for marriage, a lasting commitment between a couple. Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences. Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, insecurity, and shame may follow. A relationship based on lust can only last as long as the two of you are physically close and sexually attractive.
* Love is not a choice. It’s a compromise. Although feelings will accompany love, and although sex will be part of the marriage, a healthy and lasting relationship cannot be based on these things. A person involved in a relationship must be aware that entering it, he must be committed to our partners. I mean, fidelity should be a big deal.
True love hits our hearts at the right time. We will know if the time of our relationship does not diminish our feelings for our partner. We can still see our world in their eyes and their world in ours. And instead of falling out of love with the person, we will love them more over time.
