Finding out that your spouse has cheated on you is definitely a painful experience that no one wants to go through, but with a few tips for surviving infidelity you can move on. Your relationship is more vulnerable now, and you may feel like your world is turned upside down. However, it is essential that you take some time to seriously consider whether you are going to save your marriage or break up the relationship. So how should one proceed from this point?
1. Allow yourself some space
Allowing yourself some space can be difficult, especially since you just found out that your spouse has cheated on you and this is the crucial period when you don’t want to let your partner out of your sight. However, allowing yourself some space away from your partner can benefit you because you can see things from another perspective. Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and consider the situation. It will help you decide what the next step should be.
2. Consider whether the marriage is worth saving
Since they are now separated for a while, it is the best opportunity for them to decide if it is worth their energy to save their marriage or if they should go ahead with theirs. Consider the relationship between you and your spouse. Try to remember the moments that you have spent together, if there were more happy or unhappy days. Has he/she been a responsible spouse and parent in addition to the affair? Was it an abusive relationship? If it was, then you better end the relationship.
3. Open communication with your spouse
After your cooling off period and if you have decided that you want to save your marriage, now is the time for open communication with your spouse. Give your spouse a chance to explain themselves. Did the cheating happen because your spouse’s needs were not met? Was it just a one night stand or was it a long term fling? Cheating is just a symptom of a much deeper problem in your relationship and you need to find out what is the reason behind it.
Surviving infidelity isn’t just about accepting the fact that your spouse cheated on you, it’s also about how you handle the situation after you find out. It is vital that you keep communication open and not be too defensive about what your spouse has to say. Now is the best time to find out what went wrong and rectify the problem if you want to save your marriage. Both will have a long way to go.
4. Seek professional help if necessary
If you feel that there are some issues that cannot be resolved, feel free to seek help from professionals like marriage counselors if necessary. Having the help of a third party will help both of you to find the best thing to do for your relationship. However, refrain from enlisting the help of a close friend or relative, as it is unfair to involve them in your relationship problem. You don’t want to burden someone who probably loves both of you and you don’t want either of you to get hurt.
5. Learn to start over
Surviving infidelity isn’t going to be easy, but since you’ve decided you want to save your marriage, you’ll need to give your relationship a complete overhaul. Look at your relationship now as a new bond and forget about the problem of cheating. For it to work this time, both of you will have to work to build a stronger bond than before. Find time to date together and take advantage of the intimacy between the two of you. Relive the good old days when you were still dating and forget the unhappy events.
Rebuilding a relationship is not going to be an easy task, but if you apply the tips for surviving infidelity mentioned above, you are on your way to saving your relationship. However, once you manage to repair your relationship, it will bounce back stronger than before. Remember to keep your communication open so you don’t let history repeat itself.
