Talk on Women’s Empowerment on Women’s Day-2010 at the American Center
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Today, on WOMEN’S DAY, we have gathered here to pay tribute to some of India’s most recognizable women who have made a difference in the way a woman is perceived and have “walked the road less travelled” leaving their “footprints in the sand”. of time’…
We have all heard of the famous quote “Behind every successful man there is a woman” It clearly states that traditionally the place of the woman has been seen behind a man, a follower, as someone who is equally capable as a man and, however, she does not have the right to become what a man becomes.
The problem in India is that the society has never sincerely worked on gender equality. As long as a woman is born and raised to feel handicapped for being a woman, as long as she is paraded through marriage and judged for her appearance, her fairness, etc., as long as she is vulnerable to society because she does not respect femininity her. the equation is unlikely to change.
Empowerment comes from the true freedom of being yourself!! The day a woman in India can live on her own terms without fear, and not see her womanhood treated by her as a sign of weakness, she will see the scales shift in her favor. . One of the main challenges of women’s empowerment in India is to change the attitude of society towards women and of a woman towards herself!
As I stand here today, I wonder how did I get here? It is because I realized that Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. In fact, you can have the life that you think only happens to other people.
I was born with stars in my eyes, in a very modest family where every day was a struggle and life was hard! Cooking, cleaning… that was considered the best job for a woman. All I could have dreamed of at that time was to be something my parents were proud of, a good mother and a good wife. Society required me not to look beyond that. Growing up was also difficult, as my height and physical strength blocked many career opportunities for me. But like any small-town girl, my dreams were to become a flight attendant, maybe an actress, or even Miss India!
Everyone said that I was too short, too fat. Too poor. My classmates called me “Mini Steamroller” and, like a steamroller, my grades slipped…and my confidence sank too. Learn to sew, to cook, to mop… those were the orders that came from everywhere!!! But not!! Why should a woman learn all this by herself… I already knew the basics of home maintenance? I rebelled and therefore, to weigh myself in the world of men, I joined the army. The military is known for its professionalism, hard life, and discipline. Here I found out that both genders undergo identical training and women are expected to achieve the same fitness levels as men. The life of independence was hard and overcoming the challenges of this new life was to strengthen myself physically and mentally to fight against the law of society and show that women can too!! That women’s place is not only in the kitchen. I was thrown like clothes in a washing machine and polished inside and out, making me one of the first female officers in the Himachal Pradesh Army. A proud moment for me and a shock to the people who put me down physically and as a woman!
During my army training, we were taught grooming, etiquette, and poise. Whenever I interacted with my civilian friends, I noticed that they lacked the ability to behave gracefully and always thought that technical knowledge was the most important thing to get ahead in life. The girls who were married had let go and living for them had almost completely stopped! They had stooped to take care of themselves…as the saying goes:
“commitment hui, aadhi gayi, shaadi hui, puri gaayi, baccha hua, maar gayi.”
This made me think that if they are encouraged and these little graces can be taught to everyone outside, we Indian women who were struggling to come out of our shells could face the world with more confidence and boldness in personal, professional and social life. . And that’s where I blueprinted my plan to be a social graces coach and motivate other women to be their best.
Having led an independent life in the army, when I got married, like any other lady, I had to make a lot of adjustments. I even had to give up my burgeoning career. Again I realized that it will take a long time for families to break out of the “women are just housewives” mold!! They paid the bills and helped the kids with the chores and didn’t have a moment to themselves! And to add to the misery, when the men returned home they would often say, “What did you do all day?”
My military training…and a course from a Swiss Indian completion school empowered me enough to stand on my feet with confidence and now that the children could do without my help. I plunged into my mission to make my sisters self-confident.
Although I had this trunk full of knowledge, I soon realized that no one was interested in investing their time to learn these social skills and I thought it was a huge waste of time.
The ladies refused to come to classes saying that their husbands feel they should spend time with children and not waste time on useless things! Why do you need hairdressing classes? If it was some cooking classes or home decorating, they had full permission. Most of the time I found my way by fighting to give supplementary lessons in various places to spread awareness on this issue.
Women had to work hard to free their husbands and the men in the home from the shackles of limiting belief patterns and social or religious conditioning that have traditionally kept women repressed and unable to see their true beauty and power, and make them understand that a confident lady can raise a confident family! 2 to 10, 10 to 20… little by little the ladies realized that they had to live for themselves too… one thing led to another and I realized that India had come of age to be able to understand the importance of social graces and here I am today after coaching millions of students from different age groups and backgrounds.
Today, I am very happy to say that I am my own brand and I have been able to make a difference in the lives of many women, and I have been able to give them a solid foundation of confidence to face any situation. whether at home or away.
My biggest feedback comes in the form of appreciation when a lady tells me her husband is proud to take her to office events, when a boss tells me he sees a difference in his team’s attitude, when a future woman is accepted girlfriend for her virtues more than their looks and a middle class girl tells me she won a beauty contest but my proudest moment is when I look around me and see the lives of so many women that I have been able to touch and the bearing with which they carry and behave in your daily life.
My message to women is that the first step to self-empowerment is learning to love yourself first, because if you put yourself down, you can never truly love anyone else. No one is perfect, and expecting perfection from yourself or anyone else is a waste of time. By honoring yourself and treating yourself with respect, you set the stage for others to treat you with respect.
Another thing I would like to say to all my Indian sisters is DON’T BE AFRAID TO HAVE A DREAM. Because one of the most amazing things in this life is that dreams can come true, and I offer myself as living proof. With self-confidence and faith, truly incredible things can happen to you. I promise you one thing. It won’t be easy, but it’s easier than spending your life wishing you’d done something and feeling disappointed in yourself for never trying.
Women’s empowerment cannot take place unless women come together and decide to empower themselves. A movement must be built that awakens the individual self in each and every woman for creative and generative action. This will help us sow the seed for the real empowerment of women in India.
If I, a small town girl with all my imperfections, managed to break through the masculine world of the army, that I wanted to be a flight attendant, I’m teaching them how to be, that they wanted to be Miss India, I was training them, that they wanted to be A woman is hired actress to prepare them… IF I can make my dream come true. Trust me, can any of you…
I would like to end this speech with a beautiful sher!
Kaun kehta hai ki aasman mai surakh ho nahi sakta!
ek patther to tabiyet se uchalo yaaro!
Remember – Nothing is Impossible
Thank you
