I remember an episode of Sex and the City where someone asks Miranda if she is “seeing someone special”, and her response is a bit of self-criticism about how, “I am not seeing anyone special, but I am seeing a lot of -Special guys, so if you know someone … “

Yuk yuk yuk.

Later, Carrie turns to Miranda and says, “What happened to that? I felt like your comedy act should have come with a minimum of two drinks.”

Unfortunately, I (and anyone else single and in their thirties) can relate to this need for a little routine when asked about my social life, particularly when it comes to online dating, because, well, it’s embarrassing not to. . have the “correct” answer (“I’m dating / moving in / engaged / married / pregnant …”) We must all be losers if we haven’t found “the one” by now, or better yet, I found them in a generic way rather than through a website so we make ourselves feel better by having a sense of humor about it.

It’s funny when people say there is no longer a stigma attached to online dating. Let’s admit that we all say that because even though it has become quite common to meet someone online, maybe there is still a little stigma attached to it? It’s like saying, “I’m not cool enough to meet anyone in the real world, so I have to resort to trying to meet someone online.”

Well ….

I propose that we follow Dr. Debbie’s advice and change our thought process!

Let’s not be ashamed of online dating! The truth is, as we age, our lives are not as conducive to meeting people as they were in our youth. We are no longer in college and we are starting to leave the bar scene behind. It’s just a fact that meeting people is more difficult as you get older. And we should not be ashamed of a fact. Am I ashamed that the sky is blue? No … why would I be? I can’t help it, just like I can’t help the fact that at thirty, I no longer go to parties in my bedroom or meet guys in my Psychology 101 class.

When I recently became friends with a very sweet couple my age, I asked them how they met. The man replied, “We met online,” and the woman said, “Oh, it’s for the best!”

Without shame.

Without shame.

No comedy routine.

“Wow,” I thought. “I want to be like them.” It was as if meeting online was as natural as meeting at a party or through friends. And you know what? These days, it is! Also, this couple is one of those really cool couples. The woman is as cute as a button, funny, pretty and totally loving. And the man is handsome, a gentleman, and one of the kindest people I have ever met. They are somewhat perfect, but not in that annoying way. What I’m saying is that this couple is normal.

I think part of the reason we’re all a bit embarrassed about online dating is because we assume there are a lot of fans on the internet, so are we a fan too? I remember connecting to a particular dating site and seeing a guy I used to work with. This guy was weird: socially weird, he smelled like an ashtray, and he wore all black all the time. I thought to myself, “I should give up right now if this is the type of person who appears in my search!” But you know what? I also came across the profile of one of my old friends from an acting class that I always remembered as the coolest guy there. The point is, there are freaky-deaks everywhere, including all the places you are “supposed” to meet your significant other (aka the college campus, a bar, the produce section at the grocery store). …). We can meet these monsters in the real world and we can meet them online. But we can also meet someone amazing in the real world or amazing online. There really is no difference.

We also need to understand that, as Dr. Debbie says, dating is hard work! My friends and I joke that every first date is the same conversation over and over again, so we should bring pre-recorded CDs containing our answers to the required first date questions and sit down with a cocktail while the guy listens: “I grew up. on Long Island. I have an older sister. I work in fashion and I also write. I’ve lived in New York City for ten years. ” Sometimes I think to myself: “If I have to have that conversation one more time …!” But there are times when I’ve had amazing first dates and I was more than happy to answer and ask those questions, because I was really excited about the person I was with. Those are the times when it doesn’t seem like work at all.

The most important thing to know is that timing is a key factor. I’m sure we’ve all had the experience of going on a series of bad dates and eventually a good one. When I get to that good time, I always find myself thinking, “Aaah, that’s why the universe sent me on those bad dates; that was the journey I needed to do to get here.” It is in those moments that I realize that the universe really has a plan in store for us and that everything will turn out as it is supposed to.

So I say we all get a little inspiration from the aforementioned happy couple, and the next time someone asks us about our social life, we just smile and say, “I’m doing a little online dating.”

A minimum of two drinks is not required.