If you haven’t heard already, lenders aren’t exactly delivering loan modifications just for the sake of asking. Frankly, the statistics are not encouraging. My favorite industry rantor, Mandelman, talks about how poorly lenders are performing, citing Bank of America as one of the good guys because they are approving 2% of loan modifications. No, that is not a typo. I actually said 2%.

So here is the disappointing news. Getting a loan modification is hard work. It is a complicated, cumbersome and ugly process and there is no way around it. So how do you get the results you deserve from your lender?

First of all, I want to address the elephant in the room. It got to the point where you couldn’t pay your mortgage, because this has not been the best time for you. There are varying degrees of “I can’t pay the mortgage”, ranging from starting to take out of savings to cover the mortgage, to starting to fall behind, to having no savings and having less income, to falling so far behind that the bank has started judgment. mortgage. No matter where you are on this downward spiral, these are extremely stressful times.

It is common knowledge that during periods of extreme stress, we are not at our best. We are vulnerable. We woke up at 3am in a cold sweat. We feel pressure to financially disappoint our family. We are probably having marital stress. Statistics show that financial problems are one of the main causes of marital problems. It doesn’t take a scientist to realize that when there is no money, life is no fun.

So when your lender starts making seemingly impersonal, arbitrary, and illogical decisions that could leave you homeless, what do you do? You do what Americans do in times of adversity. You dig deep into your own inner strength, no matter how overwhelmed you feel, no matter what the odds look like, and you remember this: no matter how much we dislike it when bad things happen to us, we almost always have far greater strengths. and skills we thought about. And it takes times of adversity to find them.

Find your own internal mantras. Post them on your bathroom mirror and your computer desk, and then get down and do whatever it takes for you and your family. Don’t stick your head in the sand. Inaction is a killer. Make sure you do something constructive about your situation every day. If you and your spouse are still talking, try to divide things up constructively: one of you takes responsibility for improving your financial situation and the other takes responsibility for dealing with your lender. Inform. I’ll say it again, because this is crucial; INFORM. The lender knows much more than you do, and since you can simply say no for whatever reason you want, you need to know what your next action is in the face of your arbitrary and destructive actions.

And get the best help you can find. More on getting good help in a later article, but it’s not about the money. There are good people in free agencies like NACA and in agencies that charge a fee. And there are also lousy ones in the same places. And whether you’re working with your lender on your own or with the best attorney in the country, do your part. Get them absolutely all the documentation and information they request. Because even the best help won’t be good if you don’t find them halfway.

It’s a long, lonely and frustrating road, but you can do it. If you are informed, you will know what you are up against, and if you don’t expect an easy ride, you won’t go off course when things start to get tough. May it prevail! – Matt

PS: 25% of sales from Matt’s new $ 20 e-book will be donated to Habitat for Humanity’s Haitian relief initiative. Making a little difference in two areas of devastation at the same time.