The most important thing to remember when potty training a developmentally delayed child is that potty training may not occur until your child is much older than his peers. As a parent, you may want him to be potty trained sooner, but like any potty trained child, he won’t be potty trained until he is ready. You can start potty training your developmentally delayed child when he is ready. Your little one may get stuck in the pre-training step for a long time before he sees potty training success, but be patient. He will find out eventually.

Here are some pre-toilet training ideas you can do with your developmentally delayed child.

-Teach him the words for urine and feces. You can use whatever words you want for this. Talk to her during diaper changes and be sure to tell her about “pee pee” and “poo poo.” If he doesn’t speak yet, don’t worry, his receptive language (what he understands) may develop before his expressive language (what he can say).

-If he’s walking, take him to the bathroom when you go to the bathroom. Let him flush or sit on the toilet. If he doesn’t want to sit on the toilet or if he gets scared, walk away and have fun. Making him sit on the toilet when he’s not ready will only make potty training more difficult.

-Get him a potty or a potty. Don’t worry if he doesn’t use his potty any time soon. Let him sit on it whenever he wants. He may not actually pee in the potty, but let him enjoy his seat and being a big boy.

Signs that your child is ready to start potty training.

– You can walk to the bathroom by yourself.

-You can put on and take off your pants by yourself.

-Can understand simple instructions.

-Has regular bowel movements.

-He is able to communicate his needs to you.

-He is interested in wearing underwear

-Not afraid of the bathroom

-Alerts you when her diaper is wet or dirty or she removes her diapers

Once he begins to show signs that he is ready to start potty training, take it easy and be patient. Take him to the potty and let him sit on the toilet or potty. He may not actually go potty, but as long as he’s happy, let him sit in the potty for a while. He may enjoy sitting on the potty like a big kid, but not really understand what he’s supposed to do. Don’t worry. Eventually you will get it. Let him practice sitting on the potty once or twice a day. First thing in the morning and right after a nap are good times to let him try to sit on the potty. If he gets frustrated or you get frustrated, take a break.

It may take months before you have a hit, but one day you’ll be pleasantly surprised when your developmentally delayed child finally urinates in the toilet. The first hit is always the most exciting, but don’t be surprised if the first hit isn’t followed by another. When my developmentally delayed son started potty training and finally succeeded, I thought “eureka, he finally got it.” Only to be disappointed when he didn’t do it again for another two or three months. Go ahead and let him practice sitting on the potty. Over time, his success stories will become more frequent and he will eventually be fully potty trained.