Love is a powerful emotion; it can nurture, invigorate, encourage, validate, and heal. Love is the essence of who we are and the core of our existence. Where there is love, there is no fear, anger or hatred. We long for love as it is our birthright and we receive it unconditionally when we were children or not, our hearts ache for it.

First of all, I want to tell you: “YOU DESERVE LOVE!” “YOU DESERVE ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD!” We are all worthy of love. It is our birthright, although we may have been conditioned in another way. Some of you may not feel worthy or deserving of love, some of you may be afraid to love, and some of you may have decided that love is not something you ever want to open up to.

But the big question remains: How do you get the love you deserve? However, you’ve likely heard the answer before, not one that most want to hear. Love is within you! They just have to open up to give it and receive it. If this answer irritates you, as it once did to me, it is understandable. You see, we are a society of quick fixes, instant gratification and simple solutions and, unfortunately, this is an inside job.

So if it’s within us, you ask why can’t I feel it? The answer is simple but complex. You have probably built a wall of protection around your heart at some point in your life that has isolated you from your true essence. You have likely experienced some pain in the past that caused you to protect your heart from hurting yourself again.

For my part, I grew up in a dysfunctional home with an emotionally available mother and father. Love was rare and very hard to come by. There were times when I did “feel” love, however, most of the time, I had to be good, work hard, or do something to get something hot. So with that being said, I had to disconnect from my own heart to protect myself. It was as if my oxygen supply cable had been pinched, so I had to take advantage of other resources.

As a child, he must “feel” the love of his parents or caregivers. It is not enough for them to say that they love you when their actions do not emit love. Love is in constant supply from the Universe or God and is meant to flow through each of us. When a well-meaning father separates himself from his own love, he cannot allow the energy to flow to his children. As children, we are very subjective and do not understand that our parents “cannot” love us, instead, we make up the story that we do not deserve love or that we are not kind, or even that something is wrong. with us.

And we carry those beliefs throughout life by attracting one situation after another that echoes the same message. Those beliefs are so open in our subconscious mind that we don’t even know what is the driving force behind our lack of love. It is discovering those beliefs that will help you get the love you deserve.

If you have beliefs that you deserve a love that is entangled with abuse, that is what you will get. If you think you deserve conditional love, that’s what you will get. If you think you don’t deserve love, it will be difficult for someone to love you and you will probably sabotage anything that looks like love.

Make a list of what LOVE means to you based on your childhood and past experiences. We have all heard the biblical verse that says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not selfish … etc”. This is how love is supposed to be, however many of you may have a different definition. For me, it was “love is shouted, love is hurt and feeling insecure, love never stays, love is manipulative … etc.” Once you can define what love is to you, then you can begin to dismantle the lies and establish a new meaning of love.

Another good indicator of how love seems to you is how you treat yourself. Are you self-critical or do you blame yourself? Do you take care of yourself and your health? Do you have friends who don’t treat you well? If you are hard on yourself or a perfectionist, this is due to deep feelings of inadequacy, and you will attract others who reflect that.

So when you ask yourself “what is the love I deserve?” there may be a conflict between the rational mind and the subconscious. I’m sure you “know” that you deserve kind, gentle, safe and unconditional love, but if those underlying beliefs say something different, they will always win. Take the time to reprogram your thinking from what was the love you deserved and what is the love you really deserve. Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), EMDR, and working with a counselor or life coach are great ways to dismantle any limiting or false beliefs you may have.

Remember, you will always get the love you deserve, so by learning to love yourself and convince yourself that you deserve the highest and best form of love, you will finally be able to receive true love. Raise your standards of what love is to you and it will come!