Have you completely forgotten your physical needs since the death of your loved one? Perhaps you have lost all interest in life. Are you afraid to focus your attention on something other than the deceased, because you think that doing so means that you are being disrespectful?

Forgetting oneself and thinking that any form of enjoyment when grieving is wrong causes unnecessary suffering to millions of mourners. The beliefs that feed these behaviors exist and are reinforced based on the lack of information about the nature of the grieving process.

Grief is hard mental and physical work; affects all organs and systems of the body. The most important thing is to understand that what you think and how you perceive the death of your loved one is a major stressor. Early stress is overlooked. As the days go by, the constant stress begins to take its toll on confusion, poor sleep, colds, headaches, and digestive disorders.

If you don’t take systematic breaks from your grief, eventually the stress of grief will force you to stay on the sidelines. Here are some ways to be kind to yourself, maintain your health, and minimize the chances of extending your grieving work.

1. Self-kindness begins with the intention of changing your old beliefs that you cannot enjoy at any time during grief. Your natural inclinations will be to fight against the change of these beliefs. But give yourself a break; You are not betraying your loved one. Plan a time each day or, if you prefer, when you feel the need, excuse yourself to feed yourself. Refuse to deny yourself. What can you do?

2. Go to your private place. Choose a place in your home where you can be free from the noise of other people talking and the phone ringing. Too much time with other people during the day can limit the time you need alone to consider certain aspects of death and your pain without interruption.

This is where restoration through meditation, music, solitude, or rest will replenish the severe loss of energy associated with grief (fear, anger, guilt, and depression consume enormous amounts of energy). If you can’t be alone at first, for whatever reason, ask a friend to join you as you take your breath.

3. Be kind to yourself with the benefits of beauty. Go to a beautiful area near your home. Whenever the opportunity arises and you see a beautiful picture, tree, body of water or scene, use it as a sign that a power greater than self is telling you, pause and enjoy. Beauty is a powerful stress reducer and healer. Focus all your attention on him. Your body will benefit greatly from this mental relaxation and it is perfectly fine to redirect your attention in this way.

4. At the right times, whatever you deem appropriate, immerse yourself in loving memories that include (or do not include) your loved one. Think of times when you felt loved. Go over the details of the venue, the people involved, what was said and what was given or received. Think about what you learned in those moments and how you could pass on the knowledge you received to others. Love will help you get over your great loss.

5. Be kind to yourself by putting off important decisions. Selling your home immediately, because, or walking away from life’s reminders with your loved one, can add to your burden, if they are finished too soon. They can easily turn into additional losses for you as time goes on and you remember what was given up. If possible, take a year to consider big moves or decisions. Be sure to consult friends, experts, and family for information. Then make a decision based on what you want.

6. Take some time to read, not just books by other people who have dealt with loss, but also by thoughtful authors like Thomas Moore, Henri Nouwen, Wayne Dyer, and others who can bring you new ideas and help you in the important way. search for meaning. . You may not be able to read anything at the beginning of your complaint. However, as the weeks go by, ask your friends, clergy, and librarians for recommendations. You will be surprised by the large amount of material that will help you heal.

7. Give your self-pity and parenting time a name because it’s so important. It is part of a healthy adjustment to a major loss. Call it “My time” or “Be nice to me” (or for 30 minutes). Find a catchy name and look forward to it as something you deserve, as you do.

Then make a habit of taking a walk to your favorite coffee shop, be it a Mobil station or a Starbucks. Exercise alone can be very helpful as an outlet for tension and anxiety. Give a warm hello to the person behind the counter. Human contact is essential.

In short, starting a new routine like the ones recommended above, or inventing one of your own, is a critical factor in readjusting. Remember that it is a big problem: part of your new life to start small routines that give you pleasure and contact with others. Self-care is your right and obligation when doing your grieving work.