Relationships do not exist in a vacuum. They exist between two emotional human beings who bring their own past experiences, history, and expectations. Communication is the foundation of any relationship. Any relationship flourishes only if there is good communication between the two people involved.
Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really cause disconnection. As long as you are communicating, you can solve any problem you are facing. The more easily we connect with the other person, the more successful our relationship will be. As simple as communication may seem, many of us experience difficulties connecting successfully with others. Much of what we try to communicate, and others try to communicate to us, is overlooked or misinterpreted, which can cause conflict and frustration in both personal and professional relationships.
There are some steps to good communication. First would be to stop and listen. Sometimes, in fear that they will not listen to us, we keep saying things without thinking about what the other person has to say about it. It is very difficult at that moment to stop and listen to the other person.
The second step is to force yourself to listen. If you have stopped saying that it does not mean that you are listening to the other person. Your mind is still figuring out what to do to prove your point. Just clear your mind for a second and listen to what the other person has to say.
The third step is to be open and honest with your partner. Being open about what you feel and need is really important in a relationship. Giving the silent deal is not a sign of a good relationship. Being open means talking about things that you have never talked about before with another human being in your life. It means being vulnerable and honest with your partner, totally and blatantly. It means opening up to possible hurts and disappointments. But it also means opening up to the full potential of all that a relationship can be.
The fourth step would be to pay attention to non-verbal signs. Most of our communication does not depend on what we say, but on how we say it. Non-verbal communication is your body language, the tone of your voice, your inflection, your eye contact, and how far away you are when speaking to another person. Make and maintain eye contact, maintain a neutral body posture and tone of voice, and sit next to the person when you speak to them.
The fifth step is to focus on the here and now. It is very easy in a discussion to forget about the topic you were discussing because in most cases people move on to other topics while fighting over little things. To solve this problem, just stay away from the very polite ones and try to avoid the big argument. The sixth step is to try to minimize emotion when talking about big important decisions. No one can talk about big and important matters if they feel emotionally vulnerable or charged and angry.
Big decisions like money, marriage, children require serious thinking and must be made when in a rational state of mind. The seventh step is to be ready to make an argument. Generally we all fight an argument because we want to be right. No one is willing to go back and accept their mistake simply because they want to be right. In such a case, both parties must back off. With this, you can commit to and respect the other person and their relationship. The next step is humor and playfulness often helps.
Humor and playfulness can easily be added to the conversation to brighten the mood if there is frustration and help put everything in perspective. Joy reminds us that even as adults we can take a break from the seriousness of work. The last step is to communicate, it is more than talking. To communicate better and more effectively in your relationship, you don’t just have to talk. You can communicate in other ways: through your actions and, today, also electronically (through email, Facebook, blogs, text messages or Twitter). Staying in touch during the day or week through email or other electronic means also reminds you of the person you are thinking of and how important they are in your life. Even if such communications are primarily playful or inconsequential, they can help brighten your partner’s day and improve your mood.
Nobody is a perfect communicator all the time. But you can work towards becoming a better communicator by trying some of these tips. They will not all work, nor will they work all the time. However, better communication begins when one person strives to improve, which often encourages the other to join them.
