((Washington High School, as told by a classmate) (Fall 1966))
As told by a schoolmate

From shortly after the abortion until almost mid-autumn, now in school, at Washington High School, near Rice Street, near Maryland, during these cold October days, Catherine O’Day (better known as Cantina) sat in which Miss Hildegard Kremer, librarian, who had attended the University of Alabama) as often as Cantina could, would sit in that dark, hot, and airless library room with the blinds wide open and wide shut so that the students did not close them, because that light and the still air carried heat. , and she didn’t like being cool, and that as the sun shone hotter and hotter on that side of the building, fewer students seemed to come in, bothered by the sun’s rays and heat, especially in the summer and spring months. . The shelves were still full of dust and cobwebs, they had slid in on the backs of the books and on top of the books, and bits of dried old paint, which the wind, if the wind had had a chance, Miss Gardner would have opened those windows, maybe they would have moved a bit. Outside the window was a large pine tree, its truck like iron ore, its branches stretching out as if it had fingers (this one in particular), and this one in particular, seemed to have its own torso between the beginning and the end. The sparrows often came to perch and gossip on that thick old branch, they had a nest somewhere above that branch. The tree was almost as tall as the three-story building. They flew in and out of that branch, randomly, all day long; Still, it seemed like a gathering place, a safe haven.

Miss Gardner lived in black and white clothes, which she wore for all eternity, it seemed to us students. She was in her late forties. She never spoke of a dead or past husband, children, sister or brother, nor a boyfriend-as-husband. Yet we all think back to school, she had a mother and father, everyone has one of those. And Cantina, my best of best friends, and a friend to many of us at school, she just sat there by that window, where the sparrows used to gather, upright, in those straight, hard-stone chairs, stiff-legged. as if they were made of the same iron ore the pine was made of, and her ankles rested on another chair to one side of her, the floor gleaming with wax, it was waxed and she was talking, no, more like muttering to herself, in a grim, tired voice, wondering if his dead baby was in hell or heaven, or somewhere in between, bewildered, and now the short dead man, no longer an object, was a baby, more important now than ever. that almost indomitable past, while in his world of frustration, so it seemed to us.

Quiet, safe, out of the reach of humanity, there she sat, dreaming in that room dominated by sun and dust, day after day, whenever she could, even after school hours.

She was standing by a bookcase behind Canteen, she was sitting in her usual spot, Miss Gardner knew she would listen and her words wouldn’t just fade away, and we never thought of her as sweet and too sweet, more on the savage without smiling, silent, struck by the sun, almost distilled, a kind of battle woman, until today, on the weak cord of light that shone on the face of Cantina, that disputed face, a crucified child, said: ” Don’t feel too guilty. God doesn’t. God forgives, forgets and cares for your little one, King David confirmed it biblically.”

And then, out of the long silence, like a stream, a trickle of rain fell from his eyes, he looked at Miss Gardner, her face was like a ghost, a pale, gloomy, anguished face, she had the voice that now echoed, she ran down the his body (woman-God-demon) in one go.

They were both now motionless. In his long astonishment, “How do you know that?” Canteen said. And Miss Gardner knew she was listening, suddenly the great great library, which seemed miles long, now still, silent, nothing but light and warmth and breathing could be heard, “Let me explain my point of view on the subject. of your miscarriage, knowing so much good, how do young people deceive themselves, if that’s okay with you It seems that a certain demon has named you his quest for 1966. Strange, isn’t it?

I expected to hear some violent outrage, from her, but it was sweet, and I almost died, wanting to hear what she had to say, everyone at school had talked about Catalina’s abortion, one way or another. No one wronged her for what she did, at least to her face. Yes, except for Miss Gardner, Cantina, maybe she’d still be in that window looking at those sparrows. She said:

miss gardner
A crucial answer

“There is no specific commandment against infanticide or abortion, any more than we have laws against wife murder, it is one commandment and it covers all murders; although I am sure those who practice abortion, or those who support it, they have created one. The question begs to be answered, is it forgivable? And I already told you it is, but in your disparity, where does the child go? If I tell you, don’t take it as a license to have another abortion. , because as you know, there are arguments for abortion, as well as against it, and this is a biblical response to you, not a way out of future liability, as some would legitimately use to, to destroy more life. the concept of Genesis 2:7, that the baby is not human until it takes its first breath. This is normally the so-called religious argument, for the non-religious, which of course is overstating the obvious, you see. Canteen, and the fetus It’s not ‘inanimate matter.’ Case closed, but I’ll further. We also see in Exodus 21, ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, a foot for a foot…’ if this is the case and if those people want to use the Old Testament, then they are within a part of this rule. : ‘burn for burn, wound for wound, (and) blow for blow’. And let me add to that, in Jeremiah chapter one, God tells Jeremiah to write, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…’ It would be silly, wouldn’t it, for God to form people that they are not people in And did you know that God consecrated Jeremiah as a prophet while he was in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5) So if you are asking me indirectly, whether you did right or wrong, you already know that answer; and as you Your father told you ‘…it is not the unforgivable sin’, but neither is it a license to destroy more life.

“First, we know that God said to King David, ‘You are a man after my own heart.’ We can assume from this that they had a close relationship. Second, King David answers a question, or questions, about his own son who died, and answers it this way:

‘Can I bring it back? I will go to him, but he will not come back to me.’ So, after the death of King David, he expects to see his son, his little one, and we all know that he is not headed to hell. He is also told: ‘While the child lived, you fasted and wept; but when the child died, you got up and ate.’ He knew where the child was, and Jesus tells us to become like children, innocent: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.’ All this tells us, children without formal reasoning who die before their time, as in abortion, are with God in heaven-presently.”

As she listened to Miss Gardner, and now she knew, Cantina felt better, she smiled: she just didn’t mean it, I thought. She says it because she wants it to be told. It was early in the morning, and whatever the truth, she wanted to thank him for saying it anyway, he really loved Cantina, but she didn’t understand everything she said anyway. And then one of the office secretaries handed her a note, asking her to call and see someone in the office. It seemed like a quaint, stuffy informal request, more like a summons. And then I found out later, as we all found out later, a biology teacher was listening behind a shelf of books, unseen or unnoticed, of course, no one knew, and because of this, she was never turned around again. to see at Washington High. The biology teacher was a substitute teacher that I listened to, because I never recognized her when I saw her walk through the halls: her character was cold, implacable and even ruthless. For a second, she had imagined her not there, as if her mother had miscarried.

No.: 561(1-4-2009)