Carl Walker-Hoover, an 11-year-old boy, walked up the stairs of his Springfield, Massachusetts. home, he found an electrical cable and hung from a ladder.
His mother, who found him, spoke to millions of mothers days later on national television. She shared that her son was a good kid, played sports, and went to church with her every Sunday. Mrs. Walker had been a diligent mother, visiting her school frequently. What would make a child commit such an act? This student was teased and harassed day after day, sometimes to the point of violence. He finally told his mother about him and teachers about him.
But the bullying continued.
The name calling began, and although Sirdeaner Walker says that her son was not gay, as he easily hugged her and her teachers, the other children thought he was soft. The mere perception that he was gay led to a continuous barrage of gay epithets. Carl had enough. This is bustle.
Simply put, it is suicide caused by bullying. For every child who commits bullycide, there are dozens who try it, perhaps thousands who entertain the idea. Children feel they have less to lose by letting go of their painful past through death rather than risk a more painful future. When children commit suicide, those around them often express that they are not surprised.
Some visible signs are:
o The child withdraws
o A loner, with no apparent friends
o Impaired Grades
o Refusal to say what is wrong
o Does not want to go to school
or restless sleep
o Inconsistent appetite
The child may initially tell an adult, but then stop talking about the situation because they are afraid of retaliation or see that nothing is being done. Meanwhile, the parent or teacher assumes the bullying has stopped and forgets about it, when in fact the situation has deteriorated.
Bullying escalates to physical threats or violence; more kids have gotten involved, friends have withdrawn.
The child begins to feel hopeless. Long-term effects experienced by the bullied child include depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide attempts.
Cathy Swartwood Mitchell, director of BullyPolice, a watchdog organization for bullied children, asks: “At what age does teasing turn into bullying, teasing into tormenting, tracking into stalking, punching into assaults or a fight in assault?”
When will we stop calling bullying teasing or characterizing it as “normal child’s play”?
Parents, teachers, and church and organizational leaders need to take a closer look at what children do and say to realize the seriousness of their words and actions…and that this can lead to such damaging results. like child suicide.
Priscilla Dames is the founder and president of Wingspan Seminars, LLC, which specializes in strengthening relationships through conflict resolution and crisis management. Her website is http://www.wingspanseminars.com.
