I’m a psychologist, not a professional comedy writer (after all, how funny is this first sentence?). But when, about 20 years ago, I took up to an hour every day (and I mean, for 365 days) just to write jokes, gags, and one-liners for cartoonists, comedians, and speakers, I thought I was smart enough. to make it a lifelong habit.

It was fun, I learned a lot and even sold some jokes. However, at the end of the year, my ability to continue handling them disappeared and I burned out.

The experience taught me 3 things: First, I’m not cut out to be a full-time comedy writer. Second, I developed a great appreciation for professional comedy writers who can do this day after day, year after year. And third, I learned to put together a single line. I have used this knowledge ever since in speeches, meetings, other writing projects, and social conversation.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not rocket science. If I can do it, you can do it (provided you have a good sense of humor, a knack for puns, and nothing better to do).

Before I give you my magic formula, I must tell you that formulas don’t work. A great one-liner, like any piece of art, has its own unique inspiration, follows its own unique rules, and surprises us in its own wonderful way. Also, the jokes I’ll use as examples are original (not particularly funny, but original). That’s because I don’t want to get sued, especially by a comedian who claims he was stealing his jokes.

So here are 5 rules for creating a single line:

RULES 1: Choose 2 themes: 1) the prank content and 2) the surprise theme. For example, suppose she has been putting in a lot of overtime at the office. Now, just to make this a good mental exercise, let’s say you combine this topic with the fact that you have a dog. Here’s a way to combine them: “I’ve been working so much overtime, I came to an empty house last night. I found a note. It said, ‘I can’t take it anymore. I’ve gone for a long walk in the park to think about our relationship. It was from my dog.”

Ok, so it’s not that fun. That brings us to…

RULES 2: Look for opposites, especially ridiculous and impossible opposites. Many, many great jokes are based on opposite meanings. A few years ago at a Rotary meeting where I finished the year of my presidency, I wanted to say a few things before handing over the club to my successor. I began by saying, “Before I formally hand over the kidneys of impotence…” He got a nice laugh.

RULE 3: Build the joke in a certain direction, so that the listener is locked into an assumption, and then tell the joke about them. For example, talk as if it’s something important and end with something trivial: “I’d like to introduce my business partner, my mentor, my best friend, and a man I owe five dollars…”

RULE 4: Put the key word or phrase, the one that changes the meaning, at the end of the sentence. You will notice that the last words of the three jokes above ARE the joke (dog, impotence, five dollars). Imagine a cocktail. They all have a drink in their hands, except for one guy. His wife turns to him and says, “You know, George, you really MUST have a drink or people will think you’re an alcoholic.” This is so much more fun than, “You don’t want people to think you’re an alcoholic, do you? You better have a drink.” This second line isn’t as funny because the second topic (alcoholism) is introduced before the end. It dulls the surprise and therefore the comic shock at the end.

RULE 5: Get rid of every unnecessary word and idea. Nothing ruins a sentence more than a single extra word. My wife, Christine, is a paramedic with the Chicago Fire Department (she was my hero long before 9/11). She works a 24 hour shift. Over the years, I’ve developed a common response to people who ask me if I’m worried about my wife spending all night at the fire station with all those men: “Geez, you’re right. I’d better call and let you know.” “. those guys.” Is there an unnecessary word in that answer? I don’t think so.

So there it is. Follow these rules and you should be able to create a single line. Will he rise to the level of Henny Youngman, Jay Leno, Ellen DeGeneres, Bob Hope, Richard Pryor, or George Carlin? Probably not, but it’s fun, it’s creative, it’s a good mental workout, and who knows, you might find you have a talent for it.

Oh, and a word of caution. If while you’re following these rules you think of something really funny, forget the rules. Go for what is fun.