First dates with anyone can be overwhelming and exciting at the same time. Whether you’re in college and finally get a chance to hook up with that hot med student or a divorcee with two kids, you never know what’s in store.
However, a little planning can usually ease the stress associated with what to do or where to go and make for a successful outing.
It’s never a good idea to “meet the parents” right away. Inviting the new guy to Sunday dinner, no matter how casual, could lead to early disaster. Parents and siblings can not help it – the “date” will turn into an inquisition. On the other hand, if he does survive the dinner, he (or she) is a Guardian!
· Stay away from noisy places. How the hell can you expect to meet someone when you can’t even hear yourself speak? A nightclub or concert is never a good idea, no matter how much you love the band on stage.
The movies! I can’t tell you how many clients I have who insisted on a movie for the first date. Unless you talk through the entire movie, it can be pretty awkward sitting next to a virtual stranger for two hours.
· Dinner is always a good idea, but make sure you know where! Buying a new outfit only to find yourself at a local fast food place, which happens to be “her favorite place”, is a deal breaker.
The beach can be “iffy”. There are beachgoers who would give their right arm to live on the beach in their SUV full time, and there are others who enjoy visiting a few times each summer. If you’re invited to a beach, you need to make sure right away that your beach interests are fully aligned with your date’s. In other words, if your goal is to dip your toes in the water, bring a book, and sit under an umbrella to relax for a while, but your date shows up with snorkel gear and a case of beer, there’s no fun in it. horizon for you two!
· A picnic. This can go either way. Much depends on where, when and what foods are involved. I went to a picnic in Central Park once that was catered for by a hotel, complete with china, champagne, and gourmet snacks. The weather was perfect and my date turned out to be a (very married) class act. Another picnic in the Berkshires turned out to be the exact opposite: in the middle of the woods, ants and critters everywhere, cold and drizzling, and the food was nothing more than takeaways you picked up along the way, with music playing from your boombox. . Yawn… (Too bad the married man didn’t give this one some advice!) If you love picnics, be sure to get involved in the planning.
· Lunch! I know there are a lot of dating places out there actively promoting lunchtime first dates, but I really disagree. Restaurants can be crowded, you won’t be seated quickly, and chances are you’ll both be in a hurry to get back to work. If you both have a lot more flexibility, sure, go for it. But if you’re the average person with a job and responsibilities, lunchtime isn’t the best setting to meet someone for the first time.
· Go! There are actually two types of bars: one is an independent business that may or may not have food, and the other is a bar within a restaurant where patrons can hang out, with or without waiting to sit down for dinner. If he wants to meet you at a bar, make sure both you and your date agree on what type of establishment it will be. Having a pre-dinner cocktail is perfectly fine, but if you intend to spend the entire night at Bob’s Biker Bar, this might not be your cup of tea, so to speak.
· “Let’s meet in front of (wherever) and see what happens”. Run like hell! If you can’t think of anything better to do with your valuable time than show up so I can see you first, you have too many social problems for you to solve!
Of course, any date can go very well or the date from hell. These are simply tips to make sure your dates turn into lasting relationships and not one-night stands!
