In the recovery phase from my husband’s latest affair, I was having a hard time letting go of the pain and offering forgiveness to my husband.

I was working on “myself” a lot, trying to improve myself so I could get my self-esteem back, but none of it mattered when the triggers came.

Then I started listening to this song by country artist Tim McGraw, “Live Like You Were Dying.” Every time I hear this song it makes me reflect on my life. I think about all the things I would like to do in my life and all the things I take for granted. This particular song brings joy and sadness at the same time.

As I reflected on my life and the way things were going, I realized that my husband could be taken from me, or I from him, at any time. Did he really want our last memories of each other to be clouded by his past infidelities? The answer to that question was a resounding no!

I soon realized that by refusing to forgive and letting go of the pain, I was hurting a lot more people than myself. My immediate family suffered as much as I did. Everyone around me suffered from my inability to let go of the wounds. I could finally see that my actions were just as selfish as his.

Once I truly understood what my refusal to forgive could mean for my family, it became much easier to let go of the pain and let go of the triggers. With the passage of time I was able to remember without crying or getting angry. It’s part of my life and I can’t change it. It’s something my husband did to me that can’t be changed. What has changed is how we relate to each other and how we handle the hurts we inflict on each other.

It also reminded me that God always shows us the way. He spoke to me through a country song and reminded me that life is short and we never know when our time will end.

If you are withholding forgiveness and keeping your pain close to your heart, it is time to let it go because love cannot go where there is no place. Live your life as if today were the last, live as if you were dying.