Hack, hack, cough, gasp, huff, puff… where’s the handkerchief? Wheezing, snorkeling, gasping…

I really hate being the bearer of bad news, however guess what station is around the corner? Right world! It’s almost the time of year to welcome our frequent visitors, Carol Cold and Freddy Floo. How special…

So, after initially sniffing and blowing, what’s the next thing we invariably do? Good again! We searched for the nearest bottle of Handy Dandy Dry Up and Anti-Drip elixir. Hey, we just have to take “something” to help ease the misery these dangerous buggies are causing. I have to take a pill. I have to swallow some of that miraculous Anti-Symptom Juice. I have to do it! Dive… Now!

OK, let’s pull over to the side of the road and take a little think break here. For starters, I must remind you that my parents gave me the first name “Gene” and not “Doctor” so feel free to laugh, scoff, or laugh out loud if you like at what I’m about to say. . It’s just old Gene’s slightly skewed common sense approach to “killing buggies”.

Let’s start with the basics. I’ve found that if we’re in decent physical condition as a result of a fairly logical diet, perhaps supplemented by a multivitamin, and get a reasonable amount of exercise and sleep, we’re pretty well prepared to combat the common garden buggy variety. I think drinking Lots of coffee can help too, but I’m not really sure about that part.

As a result, our bodies have sustained innate intelligence and the ability to begin fighting any foreign invasion almost immediately. And if left to its own devices, that’s exactly what our body will do. Within a few hours, we will produce a stack of small soldiers who will begin to march against the enemy. Our temperature will rise to create an uncomfortable environment for our unwanted guests. Body orifices will flow to provide emergency exits for invaders. And, son of a bitch, about a week (or 7-10 days, your choice) later, we’ll be back to our old self and feeling so bubbly again.

Our bodies are truly an amazing collection of organs. So many capabilities, including the ability to successfully fight, single-handedly, against a large number of invading buggies. Sure, there are exceptions because we all know that there are some monstrous microscopic creatures that make their way through the human population and will certainly require super weapons to take them out. That’s why there are a lot of people out there with the first name “Doctor”. They know what weapons to use.

I believe, however, that for common, mundane ailments, our attempts to alleviate the uncomfortable symptoms of these illnesses actually tend to sometimes interfere with our body’s natural ability to fight off these minor infections. A great example of a common abuse is the use of antihistamines to relieve cold symptoms, specifically a runny nose. Guess what? It is not agonizing to work well. The runny nose of a cold is caused by a virus, not by the body’s production and release of histamines (little types that are made to fight off allergy-type invaders). As a result, antihistamines unfortunately tend to reduce the flow of mucus from the nose, which is precisely what helps purge the body of the cold virus. We are closing the exit door! It’s much better to keep blowing, and oh yeah, wash your hands a lot so you don’t contaminate everything you touch.

How about that dangerous cough? What a bummer! However, be careful. If it’s “productive” (getting dirt out of your lungs), it’s best to let it work for you. An expectorant and plenty of water can help clear up the mucus. Leave the products labeled “DM” to help relieve a dry, non-productive cough.

Everything stopped? Well, okay, a decongestant can help relieve symptoms, but if you’re pregnant, nursing, have high blood pressure or heart problems, it’s best to check with your doctor before taking any of these.

A really uncomfortable fever or headache? Any of the usual painkillers: aspirin, paracetamol, ibuprofen, etc. help to. Just remember one thing; none of these medicines will help cure your cold or flu. They will only alleviate the symptoms. With or without them, in about a week your body will have done its job and you should be feeling much better.

So here is my final suggestion. Rather than rushing out immediately at the first hint of a cold or flu, to stock up on an over-the-counter amount of over-the-counter medication, it’s better to sit idle for a while. Just stand back and let your body do its work. As I said before, if you’re in decent physical condition to begin with, you might be pleasantly surprised at how efficiently your body handles its buggy-killing task. And of course, if you really start to feel uncomfortable, take an appropriate medication in a logical dosage to help alleviate the symptoms. I’ll be pretty well healed in about 7-10 days!