So does anyone else think it’s a crazy, crazy, crazy world? I know for a fact that it is. I have seen the ugliness, the rudeness, the selfishness. I have seen firsthand dashed hopes, lost dreams, fallen castles. I have seen evil win. I’ve seen good shakes all the way to the finish.

BUT… I also know that out there somewhere it’s the opposite; true beauty, nobility and selflessness. A place where good survives regardless of its environment. Where purity and refreshing honesty, though hopelessly outnumbered and out of sync with their surroundings, still glow like a candle in the dark. Archaic terms, I know; survivors from another time, another place, a long time ago when things were simpler, people more honest, goals clearer. When good and evil weren’t so close together; the gray had not yet taken control and turned reality upside down.

Those of you longing for those days know what I’m talking about. Regardless of your age, whether old or young, you realize that your ideals, your hopes, even your belief in your fellow man, are hopelessly outdated and unrealistic according to those around you. You don’t live in the real world, they say. Andy Griffith’s Mayberry is no more; Father Knows Best is a ridiculous thought, and Gilligan’s Island was really just one giant orgy, no matter what you think the survivors did. And Miss Kitty in Gunsmoke… well, we’re not even going there.

So what are you doing my old-fashioned friend of 20, 40 or 80?? Do you learn to “fit in”? Do you change your modus operandi? Do you give in to cynicism and lose faith in everything you hold dear? No!!! You do not.

But how do you hold on to yourself in this situation? Life is so busy, so rushed. There is no time, there are bills to pay, life goes by very, very fast. But she takes the head; Before you know it, it’ll be over, my friend. Our time here is the blink of an eye. As difficult as it may seem, priorities must be named and maintained. How does that song say…”you have to stand up for something or you’ll fall in love with anything…”. It is true.

Let me tell you how I survive. Maybe it works for you, maybe it doesn’t. That is something you will have to decide for yourself. First of all, I have children. Bunches of children. Some grown, some still small. How did I raise believers in good in this bad world? How will they survive in a society of dogs that eat dogs? Here is my answer. They will survive. They will survive with grace, with inner light, with clear eyes and pure intentions. They will be shot down, disappointed, discouraged… who wouldn’t? And of course, in a world of emos and doom and gloom, they’ll stick out like a sore thumb. So what??? Is it so bad to be different in a world of tattoos, piercings, sex, drugs, alcohol, atheism… you name it?

Now I’m not saying you have to do the “Amish” thing. That’s great, fine and elegant for the Amish; it has worked for them for a long time. But I would never fly around my house. I’m not saying you have to lock them in a room and force them to watch “The Sound of Music” 10,000 times. (Although if you’ve never seen it, it’s a great place to start. Make some popcorn and enjoy!)

It all comes down to this. It’s all about options. You can’t take the choices away from kids and make it all for them. You’ll end up with weak-minded followers waiting for someone to tell them what to do, and friends, it probably won’t always be you. You want strong-minded kids who aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s decent and good in the world, no matter how unpopular it may be.

The key to all of this is SAFETY. Children have to feel safe. The more confident and self-esteem kids have, the less likely they are to follow the crowd, the better they feel about themselves, and the less likely they are to try to define themselves by seeking peer approval.

Some people go to extremes in the wrong direction, hoping to protect their children from that big, scary world. To some extent, yes, we have to. If we love them, we will be a buffer zone until such time as they are mature enough to handle themselves. Unfortunately, these scared people think that the way to accomplish all of this is to wrap their children in cellophane, build a moat and drawbridge, get some Rottweilers to guard things, and cut them off from the outside world. All you get from that particular sequence of events is misfit kids who need someone to tell them what to do and how to do it for the rest of their lives. Once they are released into the great old world, and the terrifying novelty wears off, you tend to have children even wilder than the world you were protecting them from, nine times out of ten! I’ve seen it more times than I can count. You took away their options, you took away their conflicts, you took away their chance to learn how to stand their ground and deal with their surroundings firsthand. It’s a growing thing, and they grew up without learning those very important lessons. Now you take them out and hope they learn to swim with sharks without swimming lessons or lifeguarding. Good course.

Now I’m not harping on the homeschooling crowd. You are welcome! Homeschooling can be great if, and that’s a big IF, it’s done right. If not used as an escape from the world. If you haven’t dug a moat. Unfortunately, a lot of people use it for exactly that, with an agenda of its own that would surprise some more moderate and responsible homeschool parents.

Teach your children how to make decisions. Teach them logical reasoning processes, clear thinking, kindness, and honesty. Let them know that there is ugliness out there, and that they are going to have to deal with it every day, and make more and more decisions as they get older. Don’t send them into battle unprepared. Your children are not cannon fodder.

Let me tell you, it takes time. Time, that precious commodity that no one seems to have enough of. By the time mom and dad finish their work, they are exhausted, they want to sleep and see the silly box. Order McDonald’s and forget it and make the world disappear. So the children will be entertained, with their electronic substitutes for real life and real activities. Video games, computer chat, cell phone conversations from sunup to sundown. The next day everything starts again. If our kids are lucky, all of us guilty, exhausted parents manage to drag them into some sport or after-school activity. Once again, I am not referring to extracurricular activities! they are wonderful. They help our children discover who they are in this world, what they like to do and what they are good at. But these activities aren’t a replacement for quality one-on-one time, just like watching TV in the same room. So what is the answer? Is there an answer? I bet there is.

It’s so simple it’s easy to miss. Here’s the big Number One. Family dinners…at the table…together…TV off. Conversations, stories, opinions, ideas… joys, sorrows. True and honest interaction from the heart. It doesn’t have to be every night of the week. Start twice a week and work up to what you can handle. If this is not the norm, it may seem uncomfortable at first; but that will pass. I promise. There may even be disagreements, sibling rivalry. It’s fine! Just don’t let it get out of hand; Change the subject and don’t give up. It is very, very worth it. It is the first step to reuniting as a family. And remember; the “Brady Bunch” was just a TV show!

Don’t let it stop there. keep it simple It doesn’t have to be a trip to Disneyland. The things they will remember are the simple things you don’t think about much. Hide and seek in the dark. Catch fireflies. Backyard picnics. Collecting bugs. Tell ghost stories around a fire. Fishing trips to catch 4″ fish. Trips to the lake, to the mountains. Expose them to drama, plays, dance, music. Family reading on a cold winter night in front of the fire. Tea parties. Sandcastles New pups Showing them there’s a great world out there and lots of amazing things in it Appreciation for God’s creation Plant some flowers, some seeds with the kids Pick the tomatoes you grow Let them help you with dinner.

Create your own family traditions to pass them down. It doesn’t matter what they are. They are special to your family and make them unique and unite them. For example, one of ours is hot dogs and mac and cheese on Halloween night before trick-or-treating. Always have, always will. Otherwise it wouldn’t be Halloween.

Sports are great. They teach team concepts between their children and the other children, and help build relationships. But quality time with you is different. Be you the one throwing the baseball, play basketball with your kids.

One of my favorite local sayings is “it’s not what you have, it’s what you do with what you have”. Forgive the imprecise grammar. But the point is there. Is it worth trading that bigger house, fancy car, and lavish lifestyle for your kids? They are only small for a while. Your time with them is limited and will be over in the blink of an eye. Don’t be so busy that you miss important things. Put your priorities in order. Enjoy them now before it’s too late. Reduce essential material. You’ll never regret. You don’t need money to have a wonderful relationship with your children. It just takes time.

And trust me, it’s an investment you’ll never regret.