Can you imagine an adult woman who was sexually assaulted as a child, it’s the product of rape, being told that she’s imagining it, it’s her perception, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and it’s all in her? head? Now, can you imagine that little girl who was told the same thing by the Adults who were supposed to protect her, those same Adults who threw her under the bus, the Adults who abused her, trying to make it her fault, she wanted him, he treats her like dirt, like an outcast, like a stigma, like a plague on his “perfect” family she never followed scripture and reported it so it’s her fault a grown man kept coming into her room at night night to do his disgusting deed in her mouth, a fact she has to accept, otherwise he would have done the same to her sister, who was only a few years her junior, a sister to whom she had to be a mother. .

One thing that a Woman NEVER forgets, never perceives, never imagines, is the abuse she suffered. She’ll remember it like it was yesterday EVERY DAY of her fucking life. So be VERY careful when you tell that Woman that it is her perception, it is her opinion, it is her thought that she does not want to change.

That Woman does not deserve to be raped over and over again by the ignorance of people who REFUSE to be educated, who refuse to be loving, understanding, compassionate. That woman now has a unique insight into how other women and children feel. That woman NEVER had time to imagine things when as a child she had to be on high alert for the next fist that was going to hit her in the face from a father who was preparing them for more sexual assaults, walking through the house with his genitals. out of his pants, bringing home porn for his young daughters to watch. She had to be on high alert for the next fight where he would attack them, throwing books at her head which she luckily dodged.

Now being in that culture where things are swept under the rug and because she wouldn’t shut up made her an outcast amongst some of her religious members. It took a religious member who wasn’t afraid of anyone to really be there for her, recognize her and help her start a normal life. It took me a lot of strength to get away from a culture, traditions, a group of people who think that a woman who was raped, a child whose innocence was violated is mentally damaged and therefore should be ignored, locked up and not allowed out in society. .

I can’t believe people still think like this today in what is supposed to be the age of education, Oprah, books written by women and men who have been through disgusting things. While those things can cause mental damage if someone doesn’t get the help they need, I THANKFULLY received help from people who NEVER accused me of lying, misperceiving things, and who helped me start a normal life as a teenager.

Every day, I am so grateful and happy that those people loved me, helped me heal so that those disgusting things did not destroy my life and mental state. It’s just disgusting that we are supposed to live in a progressive world and yet there are people who are still uneducated and therefore cause pain and harm to others because they can’t understand anything but the small and superficial things. and therefore cause harm to people. psyche, people who have been working for a long time to heal only to suffer a huge setback with such dangerous ignorance.

We need to stop the ignorance and learn how to help people and NOT destroy them just to force them, rape them again and make them relive the horrors they are trying to heal and leave behind so they can begin to thrive. in their life and live a better life than the one they had experienced in their childhood.

As a woman, I now have the ability to turn around and use my life, share my story to help other women and men who have been abused, and even help parents recognize the signs of abuse and love their children equally. , spend time with them. so that those children do not turn to the wrong people for love or set up those children for the wrong attention from anyone, be it strangers, family friends or even family members.

Parents, do not pit your children against each other, do not show favoritism. Create a healthy, loving, and open home and be open to having your children come and talk to you. You will not be able to watch your children 24/7, however, always keep the door open so your children know that you are their refuge and not their attacker.

Let your children know that they are loved. Hug them, kiss them and spend time with everyone together and individually. The violation of a child’s innocence doesn’t happen to a certain race of people, it only happens to other people and not you or it only happens in so-called “Third World” backward countries.

Always remember if and when your child(ren) is(are) abused, IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU OR YOUR STATE! Your children come first. Take care of them first. This is NOT the time to worry about what your neighbors or members of your religion will think and how they will look at you. fuck them As a father once told me, “If someone ever touched your daughters inappropriately, $%@@**k spirituality. They won’t survive to see the next day.” Okay, I don’t advocate violence, but parents, that’s how strongly you should feel about protecting your children, and that’s how strongly you should protect your children.

I know a woman whose daughter was being bullied by the pastor and luckily she had a good relationship with her daughter so the daughter felt free to go to her mother. The Woman dressed one Sunday in her finery and stood outside the church door greeting all the Brothers and Sisters. She was cheating on the Pastor, who by the way has a daughter of his own. When the pastor finally showed up, she allowed his family to precede him into the church, but then blocked his entrance, still smiling at everyone who entered the church. She quickly turned to the pastor and told him in no uncertain terms that unless she wants to lose her hands, private parts and other things, she must never look at her daughter or any other young sister, let alone touch them. If she ever dares to do it again, she will face shame in front of the entire Church. He never did it again to that woman’s daughter or to anyone else. (Well, hopefully.)

So with all of that, if you’re a woman or a man or know someone who’s been through the above, I hope with all my heart that you’ve educated yourself. I can’t stand the word “perspective.” I absolutely hate it. There is too much talk and it is used to create doubt in people’s minds about things that are factual and not just an opinion or perspective. Instead, I prefer the term “being polite.” Let those people know that the rape, sexual abuse was not their fault and that it was not their responsibility as children to sacrifice themselves to protect others.

Let them know that they are not dirty, disgusting and unclean. Let them know that they are not mentally ill just because they were raped or abused and that they should never give in to the thought and belief that their life is over. Let them know that they no longer have to live their lives in pain. They can FINALLY begin to thrive and when they become strong enough, they can help others heal and rid themselves of guilt and shame and will never again allow anyone to control their lives, their thoughts and their beliefs about themselves. Never insult their intelligence and make light of what they went through by telling them, “Oh, it’s because you were abused that you let that bother you or that you think that.”

We have to put an end to that ignorance. Sexual assault does not make a woman unintelligent, stupid, paranoid, or backward. Instead, she makes them sensitive to the pain of abuse in others and they will not tolerate any kind of behavior that only serves to harm her. That doesn’t mean you should walk on eggshells with a woman like that. If she respects her, then there will be no need for eggshells.

###