There is an audible wail from two mothers pushing their toddlers in strollers through the mall, past a group of scantily clad teenagers. “What father would let his daughter leave the house like that?” she says, referring to the group of girls in matching shorts and tight midriff-baring shirts.
Girls dressed in “Ho” costumes on Halloween, little girls’ T-shirts with sexual innuendo emblazoned across the chest, reality shows showing little girls skillfully using a stripper pole, lyrics that are sexually explicit and demeaning to women, the The demise of dating and the rise of “hooking up” are terrible topics for parents of minor children.
books like Pride: How Sex-Obsessed Culture Hurts Girls (and America, Too!) and Macho bristles: women and the rise of obscene culture discuss in detail the detrimental effect that highly sexual content on television, in music lyrics, in books, and on the Internet has on today’s youth. Sadly, the girls are buying into the bogus bill of goods that the media is selling them; that guys only want them for sex and their promiscuity leads to high social status. They have also been led to believe that the only way to empowerment and equality is to be sexually aggressive like men (what men?). Her role models are “stars” like Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and the porn star Jenna Jameson. Not exactly the women parents would choose to shape their innocent girls.
Although the findings in the books mentioned above are disappointing and depressing, it probably won’t surprise parents to learn that pornography has gone mainstream. One only needs to turn on the television to be a naked witness. Eighty-three-year-old Hugh Hefner has a popular reality show that glorifies his bizarre sexual relationship with three women, the youngest of whom celebrated her twenty-first birthday while she was filming and wishes to be a pimp. MTV glorifies obscene dress and behavior on shows like The Real World.
Lewd behavior and exposure to overtly sexual things is not what parents want for their children. Parents know that objectifying little girls is not good for their moral, emotional, physical, or spiritual well-being. Putting aside the terrifying risk of pregnancy or STDs, moms and dads don’t want their daughters to get used to and degrade and they don’t want their sons to view the female half of the population as sexual objects begging for sex. .
A very loving and conservative mother tells a story that horrified her. “I look hot!” said her four-year-old son modeling a tiny two-piece bathing suit. “Over my dead body!” the mother murmured to herself as she gently removed her little suit from hers and tossed it in the trash. “There’s no way I’m letting her go down that road!” the mother stated flatly. She proudly continued, “I had the first of many conversations I’ll have with my daughter about dignity, self-respect, and royal power.”
Acts like this simple one that the aforementioned mother displayed, exemplify the type of guidance that parents should give their children from a very young age. With so much of the media bombarding children with inappropriate sexual content, it’s important for parents to stand their ground, be positive role models, and enforce standards of conduct and dress that they know to be appropriate.
Another simple act that parents can take is to stop giving hard-earned money to stores that sell sexually explicit material and clothing aimed at children. On page 244 of his insightful book PrudeCarol Platt Liebau notes, “Every time someone makes it clear that overblown sexual imagery or dialogue is not acceptable for public consumption, it deals a small but significant blow to a cleaner, healthier culture.”
It’s not just girls who are affected by today’s highly charged sexual climate, boys suffer too. Children should not be seen as sexual troglodytes incapable of being kind and affectionate and only looking out for their own selfish needs. Like girls, they are complex, sensitive and loving and need to be taught that being a man means honor and decency.
“Eliminate dating and replace it with ‘friends with benefits’?” scoffs a dedicated husband and father of two young children. “I would never want to raise boys who treat girls like this. How are they going to learn to relate to the opposite sex if they use them like that?” He continues: “I want my children to experience the kind of deep love and happiness that I have with my wife.”
For whatever reason, it is difficult for some parents of minor children to fully assume the role of parent. They have the misconception that they can be friends with their children or “parenting partners.” It has become almost a cliché now, “kids don’t need their parents to be their friends, they have enough friends, parents need to be parents.” It’s not necessary or wise to be the “cool mom” or “cool dad.” Sensible and sensible adults know and celebrate the fact that they are not on an equal footing with their minor children. Let the children have their turn to be children; Parents: It’s time to leave childhood behind and revel in the role of a parent.
As sophisticated as today’s children seem, they are not miniature adults. Children desperately need and want their parents to guide them through the difficult stages of childhood. Using adult wisdom, intellect, established values, and problem-solving skills, parents can help lead the way to a bright and fantastic future. If parents abdicate their authority in the hope of being friends with their children, they shouldn’t be surprised when Jenna Jameson steps into her role.
