A breakup is always an emotional time. Losing your husband or wife after promising to live happily ever after is difficult and traumatic, and can seem so much more important than breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, because property has to be divided, custody determined, and alimony paid. . But breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend is just as difficult and traumatic because of the huge emotional loss that a breakup always entails.
If it’s the kind of breakup that causes you to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, or doesn’t let you sleep at all, you may start to think it was the kind of love that will never come back. This would naturally lead one to believe that she or he was the one, and now they are gone forever.
Or maybe, all is not lost? Once you find a moment between crying tips, ask yourself if the relationship is still salvageable. If the answer is yes, undeniably yes, without missing a beat, yes, then ask yourself another question: why are you so upset?
Are you worried that no one can love you the same way you were loved in that past relationship or that no one can ever love you again? This is a real fear to consider, but don’t get back together with your ex if this is the case. First of all, look at the main root of your fear: you are afraid of spending an eternity alone. It’s not about the other person in particular, it’s about you. The other person is just a convenience: he was close to her, she knows everything about you, and you can wear your horrible underwear in front of her, and so on. The main point is that you may not be as heartbroken and devastated as you thought, you’re just not willing to start from scratch in search of your next relationship.
What you should do is learn to relax and love yourself a little more. See this breakup more as a time to rediscover who you are, independent of anyone else. Find hobbies and new interests, preferably things you’d be good at. This will build your self-esteem and keep your feelings of hopelessness at bay. And you become a better person, with or without a loved one to validate you.
Now, if your answer to “Why are you so upset?” it’s about the other person: how your ex is so great and how sorry you are for contributing to the downfall of your relationship, then this relationship is definitely worth saving.
Of course, your ex may not want to get back together. He respects his wishes, offer to be friends and try not to ask too much of themselves like true friends would. Your ex will appreciate this consideration and even if you don’t actually get back together, they will still be in your life. And that’s better than being gone forever, isn’t it?
