My husband cheated on me and now I feel like my life is collapsing around me. This is how most women feel when her husband makes the terrible and selfish decision to cheat. It’s not that husbands are the only ones who cheat. However, they seem to do it more than women. It’s hard to get real, accurate statistics on how many husbands or wives are unfaithful. If you were cheating, would you admit it to someone? The real information about infidelity comes from spouses who have confessed or been caught cheating. I’m sure there are more men cheating than women.
Couples and families often face many challenges. There are big and small obstacles that couples and families have to overcome. For some families, the lack of money puts pressure on relationships and homes. When the focus is on getting the bare minimum to live a quality life, sometimes relationships don’t thrive. As a result, spouses drift apart over time, and in some cases blame each other for the family’s plight. Yes, it is true that for some families relationships become closer as the family comes together to overcome challenges. I wish it were like that in all families but it is not like that.
However, when husbands cheat, it’s a different kind of hindrance. The family cannot unite around a cause. Life gets really weird when your husband cheats on you. No one can really describe to you what he feels or what he does to the family. I know people who said what they would do if their husband ever cheated on them. Once it actually happened, they had no idea what to do. Rest assured, they didn’t immediately do what they said they would. We plan in our mind what we think we will do, but our hearts and emotions take over and guess what? We struggle with what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Life gets really weird for the next 365 days and more.
My husband cheated on me: how weird will the next 365 days be?
So how does it look weird? The definition of strange is “Strikingly strange or unusual, especially in a disturbing way; strange:” Other definition is “strange and different from anything natural or ordinary:”
This will be the relationship after the infidelity is discovered. It will be very unstable and unusual.
Intimacy will be non-existent or very uncomfortable at best. Holding hands, the public display of affection will feel weird.
The separation will be stressful. There will be moments of anxiety as the weeks and months go by. Doubt and suspicion will dominate the thoughts of the mind and the feelings of the heart. When he’s late for work, you’ll wonder if he’s cheating. As the unanswered phone call occurs, questions will arise as to who was calling and if it is your lover. Any lingering glance at another lady will trigger feelings of betrayal, resentment, and anxiety. Life will be just weird in the next year.
Husbands who cheat and truly regret what they did will do everything they can to make amends. They will often be less resistant to your requests. A cheating husband will argue less and do everything he can to get back on track with you. What he will expect is forgiveness and a return to the relationship prior to the cheating. Unfortunately, it’s not always that easy to get things back on track. Still, for some couples, normalcy wasn’t so great to begin with. In general, there were some problems before the adventure happened. Returning to a state of conflict and unhappiness is not the best thing that can happen.
Why husbands cheat on their wives has been talked about for centuries. There are those husbands who cite popular reasons such as;
• Needed more attention
• I was seduced by my lover
• My wife no longer makes me happy
• I was under the influence and made a mistake
The list of excuses can be quite creative on the part of some cheating husbands;
• I wanted to be a better lover to my wife.
• Helped me relieve stress and made me a better husband and father
• I did it to help my career
• I thought it would keep me happy and allow me to stay married
The thing about husbands’ confessions is that they are not thought to be weird no matter how honestly they are told. No wife really understands why her husband cheated on her unless she has deliberately taken steps to push him away. If their relationship was under extreme stress and they were practically physically and emotionally divorced, she could understand that. Otherwise, the cheating husbands explanation falls on deaf ears and a cold heart.
When a husband cheats, it takes a long time for his wife to believe and trust him again. It happens and it could happen sooner than she deserves for her to trust him again. Trust is restored through a series of actions and reactions. If your husband has cheated on you, take the time you need to trust him again. However, once you decide that he has earned your trust again, make sure he has limits. Without them, neither of you will be able to know what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior.
So how weird is it going to be because he cheated? Very rare! Now you have to rebuild your life together with this problem that has separated you. If others know about the matter, it is even more difficult to heal your marriage. The good news is that you can get over your husband’s infidelity, if that’s what you want to do. You will not be the first nor the last couple to overcome infidelity.
A broken heart and family are hard to rebuild. It is very important that you realize that it is a different process for each couple. Some are able to recover quickly from the husband’s affair and put their marriage back on the right track. Others take years to mend their hearts and get their lives back. Unfortunately, many couples cannot reconcile and end up divorcing.
If you’re facing this weird coming stage in your marriage because your husband cheated on you, take heart. There are better days ahead for you and your cheating spouse. You can restore trust, rebuild love, and get your life back, even though your husband is cheating on you.
