How do you feel when you are asked to learn new information and skills at work? Have you ever felt overwhelmed trying to stop doing the “wrong” behaviors, practice the “right” behaviors while keeping up with your current workload and responsibilities?
It is necessary to learn new perspectives and behaviors to transform conflict into cooperation. However, it is also possible to develop behaviors that are already habitual. Some behaviors that are traditionally considered negative and polarizing can surprisingly be redirected to transform conflict.
The following three habits are universal and in many cultures are seen as negative. However, the behaviors are neutral. It is the content that is negative or positive. Three of these behaviors are potentially transformative behaviors: gossip, stereotyping, and jumping to conclusions.
Gossip as a useful “bad” habit
Human beings are essentially storytellers. And one of our favorite subjects of stories to tell and listen to is other people. This is called gossip. Gossip is used as informal guidance, to teach people “what is acceptable and what is not acceptable here.” It also serves to test our own behavior in front of other people and the opinions that matter to us. However, as you know, gossip can quickly get out of control and become very destructive in the workplace.
Destructive gossip stems from the war metaphor mentality. Gossip at work contributes to destructive conflict when:
o Gossipers have conscious or unconscious harmful intentions
o Spread stories that have harmful content
o Selectively share gossip with others inclined to make things worse
o The content of gossip contributes to an environment of low trust.
The way to recycle destructive gossip is to use the “vine” as a communication channel and change the content to constructive or “good” gossip.
Gossip is constructive when gossips:
o Have consciously constructive intentions
o Share what you appreciate about the person being gossiped about: the “gossip.”
o Refrain from spreading private information about others
Spread the kind of gossip that when the person being gossiped about hears it, it will make their day.
