As I watched Oprah and Eckhart Tolle’s online class reviewing Chapter 2 of the book A New Earth, I was reminded of my own earlier discovery about comic comparisons, assumptions, and ego exaggerations.
Oprah, when talking about ego to Eckhart, said: “You also talk about giving up possessions will not automatically free you from ego. There are people who have given up all possessions, but they have a bigger ego than some millionaires. So, if you take away one type of identification, the ego will quickly find another. For example, ‘I am a more spiritual person than you.’ We see this all the time.”
Tolle replied, “Yes.”
Oprah continued: “People use their religion to say, ‘I’m better than you.'”
As a minister who has experienced over 50 countries and 6 continents of the world, interacting with countless sects and religious denominations, I can vouch for the veracity of Oprah’s comment. Furthermore, even at home in America, I have witnessed occasional pride and self-righteousness spiritually and denominations collectively as they compete for notoriety and influence in society.
One experience that I will be very transparent about and share, which may provide more enlightenment and not less humor, occurred at a local church that I occasionally attend. The service was prescient and powerful as the minister spoke on some issues of the heart that I personally could relate to. As the altar call was made after the sermon, various thoughts arose and circulated through my mind. Among them were:
“Don’t go any further or everyone will think you’re living in sin.”
“You yourself are a great minister and author. Why do you need to go ahead and be prayed for?”
“Don’t lower yourself in stature and risk jeopardizing your influence with the congregation by moving forward.”
“What will the pastoral staff think of you if you go ahead?”
“What about your wife? You don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.”
Over and over again the thoughts keep coming. However, my heart was at peace and rest, all the time in contact with the Creator and encouraging me to move forward to receive prayer and blessing.
Therefore, when I was given the invitation to respond to God and pray, I walked out of my hallway and to the front. Being the first to arrive in front of the platform, standing in front of the entire congregation, thoughts of fear and humiliation began.
“See, I told you. You shouldn’t have come here.”
“Now, don’t feel stupid.”
“What an idiot you have made of yourself now.”
To quiet my mind and soul, I knelt down to push through the mental thought processes and allow my spirit to take precedence. Once I had completely humiliated myself to the point of kneeling like a little child in front of everyone, my mind finally fell silent.
Then I felt inner tranquility, peace and divine liberation. Later, when the pastor began to pray, he came over and put his hand on my head as he imparted a blessing. Afterwards my heart felt clean, strengthened and empowered. I was glad I went ahead, but it was a mental battle to do it.
I guess that’s why Jesus was crucified on Golgotha, the place of the skull (Matthew 27:33). Our mind is the battlefield in which we must fight for our own sanity, spontaneity and serenity in order to happily enjoy life experientially without premeditation.
Ironically and surprisingly after being wounded by all the spiritual fighting and surrender, upon returning to my seat within the congregation, my mind immediately began to say again:
“Look, you’re more spiritual than everyone else. You humbled yourself.”
“You bravely went forward, regardless of what others think.”
“God will bless you for that.”
Interestingly, the ego even turned a bit spiritual in me as I sought to engage and go along with it. Sure, God blesses humility, but somehow even the ego knows how to pull praise off the hook of humility. I disengaged my mind and disconnected from the ego in that moment, choosing to simply enjoy the presence of God and forget about myself.
Another incident that further illustrates the point of the ego’s pursuit of dominance through the use of comparison occurred when I rode my bicycle to the bank. My wife Karla and I currently share a car, not having much money financially to currently have two.
One morning when Karla was outside with the car, she needed to go to the bank and make a deposit. I had one of those 0% APR checks for a limited time from a credit card company. So, wanting to take advantage of it, I rode my bike to the bank and looked to deposit the check to pay off my principal line (which was around 7.4% at the time).
Even though I had to deposit a check for $14,000, I felt kind of stupid going through the ATM on my bike. However, usually not caring much what people think, I proceeded to wait in line behind the cars in front of me. The only daunting part of the experience was the exhaust from the cars in front of me, which made it a bit hard for me to breathe after a while.
During the brief wait in line, my mind and ego had enough time to get to work and discuss the whole situation.
“You look like an idiot.”
“What a lame you are! You don’t even have a car.”
“You shouldn’t be in this line. You don’t even have a car. Come on in and park your bike, mate.”
“Are you ever going to grow up and be a man? I mean get a car buddy.”
After listening to all this dismissive and condescending talk from my ego that I didn’t give in to or give in to, my ego suddenly took a different approach and changed the tune.
“You are really healthy and environmentally conscious cycling to the bank, unlike these people who are burning fuel and wasting vital energy.”
“We should congratulate him on taking care and taking care of his health, instead of all these fat and obese people who can never go anywhere without their cars.”
Such is the endless chatter of the mind’s ego, from which we would do well to disconnect.
Eckhart correctly said: “You could have a man driving a Rolls Royce and then down the street a man riding a bicycle and it is quite possible… that the man on the bicycle has a bigger ego than the man on the Rolls.” “. Royce, if he considers himself spiritually superior to the man in the Rolls Royce.”
Certainly on numerous occasions I have been the poor man, but spiritually enlightened and proud with a superiority complex. Granted, however, to balance this truth, we must think highly of ourselves and love ourselves. We cannot love others unless we first love ourselves. Because we love our neighbor as we love ourselves. However, God teaches us not to think of ourselves “higher than we should” think, but to think soberly (Romans 12:3).
Paradoxically, we can fall from one side of the horse or the other: having a too high concept of ourselves to the point of entering into egoic pride, or not having such a high concept of ourselves that we find ourselves trapped in the trap of insecurity and the bad image of ourselves. The balanced approach and proper state of mind is to think soberly, acknowledging that we are made in the image of God, but without overexalting ourselves to the point of becoming self-centered.
True humility does not think humbly of itself, so much as it does not think of itself at all. This is where true life and joy are found, moving beyond oneself completely and living with joy.
Here is another scenario that illustrates how we can implement and employ humorous exaggeration to disarm the ego and wake up to our tendency toward prideful self-exaltation.
One month I ministered several consecutive Sunday nights in Daytona Beach, Florida. An assistant pastor on staff with a bit of a sense of humor greeted me on my third visit saying, “Good evening, Dr. Davis.” He was humorously referring to many of the TV preachers who, after writing a book or two, award themselves a Ph.D. or Ph.D.
I’m not all about this myself, so I didn’t pay attention to it. However, it is a bit funny how the ego of man often takes such titles to exalt itself or bestow such exaggerated praise on another.
I always find it amusing when young men on their bikes show up at my Mormon church home looking to proselytize me. When I go to the door in my shorts and T-shirt, being polite I introduce myself by name. “Hi, I’m Paul. What’s your name?”
Without fail they always reply, “Elder” so-and-so. They are no older than a child graduating from high school. However, your church structure thinks that by giving them some title, it will increase their credibility and sense of self-importance. On the contrary, I find it quite impersonal and therefore powerless.
God above became man through Christ first and foremost to touch humanity and be personal. The more personal, identifiable and palpable you are; how real and powerful you are. Not the other way.
Truly, God’s thoughts and ways are higher than self-centered humans who are often in love with themselves and enraptured with their ego.
